Loving Away Fear - A Good Friday Reflection

I’ve often wondered what was going through the apostle Peter’s head during the last few hours of Jesus’s life. We often think of Peter as the confident, big-mouthed disciple who became one of the pillars of the Christian church after Jesus ascended into heaven. But from John 13-19, we get a different look into Peter’s life and the difficulty of following Jesus. 

What we find in John 13 is particularly curious. By this point, Peter has been a disciple of Jesus for three years. Peter has seen Jesus perform miracles, heal the sick, teach the religious leaders, and raise the dead. Peter proclaimed Jesus as the Messiah and joined in with the crowds as they welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem. Peter even had his feet washed by Jesus, a task that was reserved for the lowliest servants during that time.

After the foot washing, which was meant to be an example of how the disciples were supposed to treat each other, Jesus began to prepare His disciples for the end. He knew that He would be betrayed and that His road would lead Him to the cross. The disciples didn’t seem to believe it. Peter even declared out loud that before anything were to happen to Jesus, he would give up his life for his master. Instead of thanking Peter or acknowledging his courage, Jesus predicted that Peter would betray Him that very night (John 13:36-39). 

I wonder what was going through Peter’s head at that moment. He must have been perplexed. How could Jesus say that? Peter had left behind his old life to follow Jesus. Of course Peter would also lay down his life for the Messiah. How could Jesus think that Peter, the great apostle, would disown Him?

Well, Peter’s feelings when Jesus predicted this denial must have paled in comparison to how he felt when it actually happened. After Jesus talked more with His disciples, they went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. It was in the garden that Judas, one of the twelve disciples, brought a mob of religious leaders and soldiers to arrest Jesus. 

Ready to fight, Peter stepped in, pulled out his sword and cut off the ear of one of the servants who was there. But Jesus quickly rebuked Peter, telling him to put away his sword. Furthermore, instead of resisting arrest, Jesus went willingly with the crowd to His trial.

I wonder what was going through Peter’s head in the moment. Why didn’t Jesus want Peter to defend Him? Why did Jesus go willingly with the mob? What was this trial that was set up for Jesus? What will happen to Peter now that he cut one of the servants of the religious leaders? What if the crowds turned on Jesus? What if they found out that Peter was one of His disciples?

Peter ended up following the crowds to see what had happened to Jesus. He wanted to know what was going on. As he went into the courtyard that night, full of adrenaline from the arrest, a stranger recognized him as a follower of the man who was now on trial (John 18).

I can only imagine the fear that must have gripped Peter in that moment when He was put on the spot to answer whether or not he knew Jesus. The fear must have taken over, as it would for me as well. Peter, thinking it to be the wise decision at the time, said, “No, I’m not a disciple of the man who was arrested.”

As Peter tried to get away, to move on to somewhere where he wouldn’t be noticed, someone asked him again whether he was the man they saw with Jesus in the garden. For a second time, Peter said, “No,” and then for a third, he did so again. When the rooster crowed, Peter remembered what Jesus said just a few hours before. So quickly, Peter’s zealous desire to defend Jesus turned to fear. That fear turned to grief and sorrow when he realized he denied knowing his master, the one for whom he promised to die.

Fear is a constant in the Passion of Jesus. It seems like everyone, not only Peter, acted out of fear, self-preservation, or panic.

It began with the religious leaders. From the outset, they saw Jesus as a threat to their religious order. They saw Him as a threat to the power they had established with the ruling Romans. Even more so, they saw Jesus as a heretic who threatened their very connection to God. And so, out of fear of losing what they had, they conspired to kill him. It didn’t matter how. They found a disciple to betray Him and put on a mock trial, forcing the Roman ruler’s hand.

That ruler, Pilate, was also overtaken by fear. He was tasked with keeping the peace in Jerusalem between the Jews and the Romans. They even had a custom to release a Jewish prisoner during the passover festival. When Pilate realized that Jesus did nothing wrong, he tried to release Him. But the crowds insisted, and wanting to prevent a riot, Pilate washed his hands of the situation and sentenced Jesus to death.

It was the crowds who had welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem as the Messiah just a few days before who were now yelling “crucify Him.” Whether they were pressured from the religious leaders or were disappointed that Jesus didn’t bring the kind of kingdom that they wanted, fear gripped them and they all banded together for a common purpose - to get rid of Jesus.

It seems there was only one person who was not overcome by fear. Jesus knew that His journey would lead Him to the cross, that He would be betrayed, and that the people would turn against Him. Although His prayer in the garden revealed a deep level of sorrow about what would happen, we also learned that Jesus was willing to take the cup that was given Him.

Everywhere Jesus went, He went willingly. From the garden to the trial, from one leader to the next, from the whipping block to Golgotha, and from the cross to the tomb. Jesus did not defend Himself. He didn’t fight back. He didn’t even try to escape. He took on the fears of everyone else and was willing to carry them to the end. How? Why?

“Jesus went to the cross, not because of fear of those who brought Him there, but because of the love He had for them.”

Here is the simple answer: Jesus went to the cross, not because of fear of those who brought Him there, but because of the love He had for them. Everyone around Jesus was overtaken by fear, but from the beginning, Jesus was overtaken by love for His creation. That’s why He came, taught, healed, forgave, and gave His life for the world. He did this in order to break the cycle of sin and death and to bring us new life - life that has the power to bring us out of fear.

1 John 4 reminds us that God is love. In verse 18, we are told, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Love drives out fear. It’s not that fear is a bad emotion. It’s a natural one to feel, and it is necessary in certain circumstances. But fear gives way to hatred, intolerance, greed, and self-preservation. However, when we allow love to determine our thoughts and actions, it drives that fear away and leads us to humility, patience, kindness, and self-sacrifice.

Jesus went to the cross, not out of fear, but of love. In Jesus, perfect love has cast out fear as He offered Himself for the sins of the world and showed us a different way - the way of the kingdom of God.

So as we pause to remember Jesus’s death, we too need to make way in our hearts and lives for the love of God - the same love that led Jesus to the cross. Christ came, lived, and died; and when we allow Jesus in and trust in Him, we will be transformed and renewed. His death will give us life. His love will drive out our fear.