In Loving Memory of Grandma Zehr

Grandparents play a special role in our lives. It’s a true blessing to be able to grow up knowing the love of a grandma. Both my Oma on my Mom’s side and my Lola on my Dad’s side passed away before I ever got to know them. I’ve often imagined the hugs, games, sleepovers, treats, and laughter that would have otherwise existed; I’ve missed them without ever having known them. 

Throughout my life, I’ve longed to call someone “Grandma,” so I felt blessed that Jessica’s grandparents accepted me as their own when we got married. All of a sudden, nine years ago, I gained two grandmas. It may have been their unwavering kindness or my desire to have grandmas in my life, but I started calling them that from the get-go - and they let me! For all these years, I’ve loved having these grandmas as part of my life.

One week ago, I lost my first Grandma. Elaine Zehr passed away on May 22 in Abbotsford, BC. Losing someone unexpectedly is hard enough, but I can’t even begin to describe the difficulty of it happening during the COVID-19 pandemic. Everything that led up to her passing was so heartbreaking, and right when we needed to be together as a family to support each other, we simply could not.

Friends and family are gathering over Zoom today to remember and celebrate the life of Grandma Zehr. We thank God for the life that she had and the love that she shared. We marvel at her story, the many things she was able to do, and the many people who have been blessed by her presence. We grieve her passing and look to God and our community to help us figure out what life looks like without Elaine here.

For me, I will always remember Grandma Zehr’s loving and kind spirit. It didn’t matter what situation we were in, she always smiled and laughed. Even the time when we were stuck in an elevator, she was the one who broke the tension. Her laugh was truly infectious, and I couldn’t help but be lifted by her presence. She took such an interest in her family; even though I was just an in-law, I always felt like her grandchild. 

I will think back with fondness on the many meals we shared together, the adventures during our trips to BC, and the time they came to stay in our house for a few weeks a couple of years ago. We were so thankful that her dementia didn’t take away her personality, and that even to the end, despite her suffering, she continued to be the same sweet Elaine that we have come to know and love all these years. 

Thank you to all our family and friends for your support during this time. May God grant us peace and comfort as we journey on together. What follows is Grandma’s obituary, which can also be found on the Wiebe & Jeske funeral home website.

On May 22nd, 2020, Elaine Zehr passed away peacefully at age 87 during a brief stay in the hospital being treated for diabetes related complications.

March 28, 1933 marked the beginning of Elaine’s earth-brightening journey.  Second of nine siblings, this shy, compassionate and readily smiling soul was always seeking ways to benefit others.  She is survived by her husband and companion of 62 years, Daniel Ervin Zehr; their children, Byron (Barb), Keith, Deb (Zoran); her beloved grandchildren, Megan (Adam) Thiessen, Jessica (Moses) Falco and her beautiful great-grandchildren Arianna, Briella, Marcello, David and Clara.  Elaine was pre-deceased by her parents, Melvin and Mabel (Roth) Bender and her siblings and in-laws Grace (Kenneth) Schwartzentruber, Gerald Bender, Mary (Robert) Johnston, Doreen (Jerry) Ropp, John Ropp and Ray Bender. Her surviving brother, sisters and in-laws John (Janet) Bender, Janice (Aden) Brubacher, Darlene Ropp and Verna Bender together with many dear “Zehr” in-laws, nieces and nephews join us in our mourning and in celebrating her life.

On August 17, 1957 she married Dan Zehr whose career with MCC administration often left Elaine with their three children alone while he was on overseas trips, often for weeks at a time. Through these times she was always able to find a way to balance her career with being a loving and caring mother.

Early on she had her heart set on a nursing career.  She graduated in 1957 with a Bachelor of Science degree in nursing at Goshen College (Indiana) and obtained her RN.  She practiced nursing in Elkhart, Indiana; Strathroy, Ontario; Winnipeg and Bolivia. Throughout her career, she was known for her ability to give injections that hurt less and start IVs when others found it difficult to find the veins.  She worked in Intensive care wards for 12 of those years.  Dan could tell if she had a shift where someone had died as her feelings of compassion and sympathy showed.  This also shone through in her relationships with many friends whose lives were profoundly affected by her compassion and genuine caring.

Elaine lived a quiet but deep faith, always seeking ways to comfort and give to others.  In later years she took to sewing, knitting, cross stitching and more.  Whenever visiting others or hosting company, invariably she would offer them a hand-made dishcloth. She literally made hundreds of them and still has more than a dozen in stock.

She suffered a degree of dementia in later years but always kept her kind and pleasant nature.  During her hospitalization the nurses and doctors all commented on her sweetness and her smile. We extend appreciation to the medical team on Baker 3 and Abbotsford Regional Hospital for the care and kindness showed to her and our family during her last days. A special thank you to Dr. Husain Khambati for being compassionate to the end, sharing a special affinity for Elaine though having a short time together.

Our wife mother grandmother and great grandmother had a joy, a smile and a laugh that was effortless and genuine. It came straight from her soul and entered other people’s hearts. She is sorely missed, but through her steadfast compassion and faith she continues to speak to and love her family and countless friends. She left the world a brighter place for us all.