Birth and Death During COVID-19

Even though the COVID-19 pandemic continues to wreck havoc around the world, the government in Manitoba is starting to loosen restrictions. Public gatherings are now allowed once again, although with limited numbers. I’m very excited that our church has been working to get us ready to return to in-person worship gatherings. That doesn’t mean that things are back to normal, but it will be great to see people once again.

I’ve been reflecting on what the pandemic has taught me, and I keep coming back to the two most significant events for me and Jessica, my wife, during this time. The first was the birth of our first child, Clara. The second was the death of Jessica’s grandmother, Elaine, at the age of 87. Although these events are on opposite ends of life’s spectrum, they both reminded me of the importance of community.

As we were trying to flatten the Coronavirus curve in our country, our government implemented restrictions that kept us isolated to our family units. Jessica and I stayed away from people for the sake of the most vulnerable in our community, which was very difficult for us. We’re usually very social people and it was a challenge to be alone, especially during events when we would usually be together with family and friends.

We dreamed about what life with a baby would be like during Jessica’s pregnancy. We looked forward to inviting family to join us in the hospital. We anticipated that my family would come visit from Eastern Canada. I even had some high school friends who had already booked their tickets to come as well. As the pastor of Sterling Mennonite Fellowship, I was also excited to show our baby off to our church.

COVID-19 changed all of that for us. Instead of sharing this moment with the people we love, we were left to navigate the journey on our own. We had to settle for Zoom calls and window visits. It took a while for us to even feel comfortable letting anyone else hold Clara - even now there are many who have not yet had the chance. We’re very thankful for all the great medical staff who helped us along the way, but it was definitely more difficult than we imagined. 

Just a couple of weeks after Clara was born, we got word that Jessica’s Grandma, who lived in BC, was taken to the hospital to go through what was supposed to be a standard procedure for diabetic-related complications. One procedure led to another, and after two weeks in hospital, we were shocked to hear that she passed away.

Had it not been for COVID-19, Jessica’s Grandma would have been allowed visitors in the hospital; but because of the pandemic, not even her husband was allowed to see her. We would have all made the trip to see her and to be there for Jessica’s Grandpa after she passed away. But instead of a trip out to BC, we ended up planning an online funeral service, and once again, relied on Zoom to connect with and support our family.

In both situations, we made the most of what we had. Of course doing things online was better than nothing, but it wasn’t the same. We missed being in the presence of people we know and love, sharing food, laughter, hugs, and all the rest. Our hearts were broken from the reality of isolation that we all experienced during the beginning of one life and the end of another. This has solidified for me what Palmer Becker has been saying about the Anabaptist faith for years.

In his triad of Anabaptist faith, Becker describes community as “the centre of our lives.” I’ve always believed that, and I’ve strived to live out my faith in the presence of community. But it was only when community was taken away from me that I truly understood that God created humans to be creatures of relationship.

Relationships are woven into the fabric of life and seen all over scripture. In fact, it’s right at the beginning - the stories of creation. God didn’t simply create the earth and leave it be. In Genesis 2, after God put Adam in the garden, God gave him the task of caring for it. Humanity is dependant on the rest of creation for our existence, but we haven’t been given permission to exploit it for our own gain. Instead, we are to be stewards, which is the basis of our relationship to the Earth.

Even though Adam had everything in order to survive in the garden God created, God noticed that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. So God brought all the animals to Adam for him to name. The hope was that one of the created beings would be a suitable helper for him, but none of them were. So God created another human, Eve, from a piece of Adam’s flesh. The two became one.

“Their expulsion from the garden never meant expulsion from God’s presence.”

Even after creating humans, God continued to walk alongside them in the garden. When Adam and Eve decided to go their own way instead of listening to God, God sought them out. Their expulsion from the garden never meant expulsion from God’s presence. Humans were created to be in relationship with God, and the rest of scripture tells the story of God providing a way for us to return to right relationship with our creator. From the garden until now, God has never stopped pursuing a relationship with us.

Humans aren’t silos. We were created to live in relationship with God, creation, and each other. We see examples of community lived out in the rest of the Bible, particularly in the early Church. Christians of all backgrounds and classes strived to live together and share all things in common. They made sure that there were no poor among them by sacrificing what they had for each other.

I realized after experiencing birth and death during COVID-19 that I can’t do life without community. I can’t imagine what this time would have been like without any contact with family and friends at all. I can’t imagine if we didn’t have Zoom, the window visits, and all the wonderful food and gifts that people dropped off. I also can’t imagine what it must be like for people who long for community and yet live in isolation on a regular basis.

As we prepare to meet as a church in person once again, I’m left feeling so grateful for the community of which we are blessed to be a part. I’m thankful for the ways in which we’ve been able to connect with each other during this pandemic. Most of all, I feel more motivated now than ever that community building, especially for the sake of those who are most isolated, is holy work. It’s part of what it means to be human. It’s exactly the kind of work that the kingdom of God is all about.